The Girl With A One Track Mind

It all started when I was waiting for a train to take me up north for the weekend. There were the usual delays so I tackled the physically demanding assault course that is buying a book in a minuscule magazine kiosk. Amid thousand of other pissed off commuters, I browsed the special offers and emerged exhausted with a copy of Girl With A One Track Mind (because I liked the cover).

I was vaguely aware of Abby Lee's book. I knew that she was a woman whose high sex drive had caused quite a stir. What I didn't realise was that she is a blogosphere legend with 100,000 readers a month all eager to find out about her latest real life sexploits. (I get excited when I get 1 comment, I can't imagine what it must be like writing for 100,000 fans!)

Anyway, there I was whiling away the time with Girl With A One Track Mind and I have to say I was shocked. Not shocked in a Mary Whitehouse way but shocked that a fairly innocent looking book contained such graphic sex. Her writing is genuine and frank with stories of fucking strangers in pub toilets, alfresco wanking, S&M and rock hard cocks being shoved up her arse. And anybody, including a young impressionable teenager could have easy access to this material.

If I'm honest, I'm a bit jealous. I deal in porno, with moving images of strangers getting fucked in toilets, wanking and rock hard cocks, and my business is heavily restricted by UK law. So how come there are none of these restrictions when it comes to reading about X-rated sex? Can I deduce that words do not deprave and corrupt but moving images obviously do? Dress hardcore sex up as something else, i.e. a French arthouse film or Abby Lee's book, and you have no problem...

So I read Girl With A One Track Mind and despite getting angry that her book is available everywhere and my movies are not, I really enjoyed it. I got so turned on that I suggested to my boyfriend that we have sex in the train toilet, but that's another story... (Sounds like a porn script, doesn't it?)

Her sexploits are honest and I love her philosophical attitude to sex (is that sexophical?) But I found the ending quite intriguing. It seemed to me that she loved every minute of her explicit sexual journey whether it was a one night stand or lesbian lust or being a voyeur at a sex club orgy, but ultimately she realized that to have the intimacy of a relationship she ought to give up instant gratification fucking. If that was the case could her blog exist beyond the book? Whether this was intentional or not that got me reading online and now I’m hooked.

I read other blogs (mostly those about sex) on a regular basis, all of which are beautifully written (I’m always envious) and make me think and / or laugh. But there’s something about Girl With A One Track Mind that keeps me coming back for more. I think I’m addicted for three reasons:

1. She genuinely lays herself bare (no pun intended) and exposes ALL aspects of her sex life which makes it so compelling.

2. The girliness. Despite being overtly sexually and admitting to wanking three times a day, she still gets upset when the guy doesn’t call. She has a fancy knickers fetish and explains in minute detail about blowing her budget on the latest silky purchase. My girly fetish is expensive skincare, different product same thing.

3. Her passion seems to rub off on me and I find myself agreeing and disagreeing with her in equal measure. I wholehearted agree with her pro-safe sex message. One of her posts reads:

“People like to fuck.
People will fuck.
Throwing money at teaching young people not to fuck doesn't work.
Spending money educating young people about fucking safely, does work however, resulting in lower rates of STIs and teenage pregnancy.

Advocate condoms not abstinence: it's common fucking sense.”

I think that is marvelous. Being a big-titted woman myself, I don’t agree with the fact that she loves having big tits but hates people looking at them. If you don’t want strangers to stare at your cleavage either cover it up or get over it. Men are obsessed with boobs – as I have already posted.

All in all, I say well done Abby. It is a joy to read about an intelligent woman loving sex. Long may she shag. And if you are reading this and fancy trying your hand at porno, let me know as I’ll be the first to offer you an audition.

Sex Education

One of the weird things about porn being your job is that sooner or later your parents will ask you work-related questions. Being a convent girl from a good Catholic family, I did not receive any formal sex education. Instead I remember being taken to the library by my older sister who thrust a book into my hands which showed an anatomical line drawing of a couple during intercourse. The guy was on top with his hands by his side about 2 inches above the women. As a result for years I believed that the cock muscle was so strong it could support a guy's entire body weight so he could sort of levitate during the act of lovemaking. I spent many years thinking about this and wondered if the cock muscle could always perform the levitation trick or was it just in female company that it gained it's super-power!

Thankfully, 30 years on and my knowledge of all things sexual is much more extensive. Despite the fact that I spend a lot of my working day talking about sex, I still find it a little tricky when my parents grill me for information. I know most people don't want to think about their folks having a sex life (I'm cringing now as I write this) but count yourself lucky that you do not need to explain the finer points of sex play to your mum and dad!

When I started the business my mother wanted to watch one of our movies as she had never seen a “pornographic picture” before. I told her that I would happily give her a VHS (it was 8 years ago) but she couldn't watch it in front of me. She sharply told me to stop being so prudish and proceeded to watch the movie in my office. Her deadpan expression remained unchanged as she sat through blow jobs, threesomes and a bit of girl girl action. When it finished she proclaimed “there's an awful lot of penis licking.” She was right, porn does involve an awful lot of penis licking.

A few years later our printers produced a calendar with a glossy, double-entendre picture for each month. Two iced buns looking like tits, that sort of thing. My Dad loves a good calendar. He uses it to mark down the cricket and rugby dates, so I gave him one. Everything was fine until he called asking about November. This is how the conversation went:

Dad: Great calendar, thanks darling.
Me: You're welcome.
Dad: There's one thing, I don't understand November, it's a picture of a necklace.
Me: Yes, a pearl necklace.
Dad: So what is the double-entendre?
Me: Dads, it's a PEARL NECKLACE.
Dad: But what does that represent? I asked the lads down the pub and they didn't know.
Me: [sighing and cringing at the same time] OK, um, ah... well what does a guy do when he has sex?
Dad: Inserts his willy into a woman.
Me: [more blushes] Yes, and what, um, er... happens when a bloke plays with his willy? [why on earth am I referring to it as a willy???]
Dad: He ejaculates.
Me: [cringing so badly I'm doubled over at the other end of the phone] Yes and where does he ejaculate?
Dad: Inside a woman.
Me: Yes, but um... where else can he ejaculate?
Dad: [confused] On the floor?
Me: [at the end of my tether and talking really quickly] A pearl necklace is when a guy falls short of cumming on a girl's face, hence pearl necklace. [Ah, relief!]
Dad: [amazed] Really, that's a pearl necklace? Well I'll get brownie points from the lads for knowing that, thanks darling.
Me: [still sighing and cringing] My pleasure Dads!!!

The pearl necklace conversation was just the start. Since then my Dad has asked me if double anal is “two willies in the bumhole”? Answer: Yes. “How do you shoot a double anal scene?” Answer: With great difficulty. And finally after watching Brokeback Mountain, he quizzed me about gay sex. A key moment in the film is the sex scene between two macho cowboys, shot in such a way that you only see their silhouettes projected onto the side of the tent. Dads was under the impression that all gay men did was wank together and was quite surprised when I told him that they do have anal sex.

We all know our parents have sex, how else would we be here? I have 3 sisters, so mine have obviously have done 'it' more than once. Despite this, discussing sex with my parents is an odd role reversal that still makes me a little uncomfortable. I thought I had rid myself of all the Catholic convent girl repressions, but being open and frank to your folks about the ins and outs of sex is one hang-up I think I'll hold on to.