Love Letters Straight From The Heart (Part 1)

By far the best part of my job is the feedback I receive from customers. I'm thankful to every single person who writes to me. The comments range from the sensible to the downright odd. From a business point of view, the informative letters are the most useful but they aren't so much fun. As a thank you to everyone who's written in I've included some of the more outrageous ones below. Enjoy. (I can't give you an example of the handwriting but aside from that everything is quoted as written).

“My likes are:
long hair surfers guys,
long hair skateboad guys,
long hair student guys,
long hair hippies guys,
long hair bickers
long hair rock stars.
I am able to pay good cash for any of the above. Please rush me any info. I need to know.” Thomas, Avon

“Fantastic orgasm during, next door had to shut their window.” Richard, London

“Me and my wife enjoy watching hardcore videos. WE LOVE IT” Romeo, London

“I NEVER HEARD, I JUST FINDOUT. 70'IES IS THE TIME, WHEN WOMEN WAS LOOCKING MOST ATRACTIVE EVER!” Robert, London

“Safe sex” Tim, Bristol

“Made me realise things I never knew before” DJ, Surrey

“THE FILM WAS SPOILED BY SILLY COSTUMES! WE WOULD LIKE BIZAR WITH DOGS” Ken, Dorset

“Mate got caught wanking over it. I didn't get caught (yet)” Perry, Surrey
“More dwarves!!!” Ryan, Derry

“It was arousing. 'Stiff city'” Martin, Devon

“(NICE + HORNY) (THE WIFE WAS PLEASED)” S&Y, Derby

“Heard my brother / Dad groaning! Excellent! Enjoyed the film with the whole family!” John, Cheltenham

“Nice history” Ragee, London

“Do you have any shapely young fat girls? + stockings. Advise?” Mark, London

“Like orgies a lot” Mr R, Scotland

“It gave me a hardon the size of Trafalgar Squar!! Loved it. Great jiz film” James, Somerset

“That fat bird was fucking minging” Jim, Taunton

“VERY GOOD. COLOUR BRIGT NOT FUZZY” David, Rotherham

“Brazillian Boychicks... motivated me to go to Brazil” Simon, Poole

“Very creamy” Clark, Taunton

“Hot Rod is the dogs!!” Shepherd's Bush' Leading Wanker

“I LIKE THE SHEMALES. YOU NEED TO USE MORE OF THEM” Spencer, London

“I FUCKING LOVED IT AND IT WAS GOOD” Mr L, Stoke on Trent

“It raises ones curiosity, and is good for the imagination, and shows people are stranger, than you think” Keith, Preston

“My mum told me about this film. THE BEST SPONGING I'VE HAD IN A WHILE” Daniel, Stafford

“I LOVE SEX” Selwin, Prestwich

“An education” David, Surrey

“Jenna Jameson is amazing. Excellent camera angles” Craig, Lincs

“ti saw pood porn” Colin, West Midlands

“GOOD FILM BUT NOT UNDERSTANDING WHAT WAS SAID EVEN WITH THE SUBTITLES LIKE TO SEE MORE” Peter, Southampton

“I am a vigorous 53-year old male ... I have been a senior academic... I still have academic robe, mantle and cap... I have a 7” penis and am very good at giving oral.” Anon

“not very hard porn i was very dist bontin” Caroline, Cardiff

“More kinky stuff
more cum in the arse
more cum in the mouth” Paul, Great Yarmouth

“WOULD HAVE LIKED TO SEE PENETRATION OF THE CUNT BY THE TOE OF THE COURT SHOUE” Mr P, Cheltenham